I feel like a mildly sedated child.
I have pretty bad S.A.D, so this is the time of year when I normally turn into a miserable shell of a person until April-ish, because of the weather. This year is turning out to be particularly hard, and is taking a huge toll on me physically and emotionally.
Yes, it’s snowy all over the country, and that’s not really it. Nor is it the weeks on end of sub-freezing temperatures. It’s the persistent gray. I mean, in Boston, it snows, and then the sun comes out. In Chicago, it snows, and then the sun comes out. But not here.
If you’ve ever spent an extended amount of time in Western NY in the winter, you know what I mean. The sky is a constant, lifeless and diffuse gray. I feel like I am a bug, trapped under a styrofoam cup by a malevolent child. And it’s killing me.
1 - rejection letter via email,
13 - Tumblr unfollows since yesterday,
5 - times I’ve had to reboot my Mac,
12 - frames of film eaten by a jammed Hasselblad back,
4 - tablets of Advil taken,
6 - pints of beer I plan on drinking at the pub tonite, because fuck this day in particular.
And I’m not happy with a single one of them.