You know how sometimes you’re sitting there doing some repairs on one of Lauren Bacall’s original 16mm home movies from 1947,
and then because you’re generally clumsy, you pull an infomercial move with an X-Acto knife and a bottle of perchloroethylene?
So you probably won’t want to stand near me while I’m holding coffee.
Or hand me, say, your Fabergé egg collection.
Or your baby.