December 2011
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New Year's wish
I hope that I will be able to look back on 2012 as “The Year I Dropped the Restraining Order Against George Takei”.
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New Year's wish
I hope that I will be able to look back on 2012 as “The Year I Finally Got Around to Reading Your 2009 Holiday Letters”.
New Year's wish
I hope that I will be able to look back on 2012 as “The Year I Didn’t Have to Explain Half of My Jokes”.
Arrivederci, 2011.
I can’t say that I’ll miss you.
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Pretty sure this is a sign of the Apocalypse.
Starting next week I’m going to be teaching 16mm film digitizing and editing to three rotations of film preservation MFA students at the Selznick School.
I’m not sure I have enough bow ties for this.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SANTA!
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For Christmas, Your Government Will Explain Why...
Lowering the Bar summarizes: The government dropped a bomb on a U.S. citizen,
who, though a total dick and probably a criminal, may have been engaged only in propaganda,
which, though despicable, is generally protected by the First Amendment;
it did so without a trial or even an indictment (that we know of),
based at least in part on evidence it says it has but won’t show anyone,
and...
I think the key to a good friendship is being able to look back on the...
– Anonymous
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Five pieces of fiction that will have you up all... →
Great list by Brooke Watkins at the NYPL. The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes is going to be my first read of 2012.
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If anyone needs me in the next two hours, I will...
Don’t judge me.
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You don't need to close your eyes to have...
In fact, closing them is often the only way to escape.
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Instant Happy™
Whenever you’re feeling blue, do the following:
Open iTunes and play a random song,
Sing it out loud, karaoke style, substituting “herpa derpa derpa” for the actual lyrics,
Happy!
You’re welcome.
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Did you know there is actually such a thing called...
And that there are companies dedicated exclusively to their manufacture and sales? I didn’t either. Until just now.
I had no idea that cows needed waterbeds at all, let alone fancy dual chambered ones. There is so much about the cheese-making process that I don’t know.
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Missed connection
You: a gorgeous Canon EF 50mm f/1.2 L USM.
Me: I stared at you while you sat in the display case.
I know you noticed me too, with your big glass eye. You’ve been used. I could tell. The minor scars on your skin told me that you’ve lived through a lot. But I can love you. Oh yes, I can take care of you. We can do beautiful things together.
Wait for me?
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Ow.
Remember the noises Han Solo made while he was being tortured in the second act of The Empire Strikes Back, on that odd machine that never really touched him but sent lots of sparks flying everywhere?
Yeah, those are the noises I’ve been making all afternoon and evening long, every time I walk, thanks to the excessive chafing I got in some Very Sensitive Areas™ following today’s run.
...
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Truthful Tuesday: Owning Up to Ignorance Edition
I actually enjoy saying “I don’t know” when I honestly don’t know something.
Some people (whereby some I mean many) go through their adult lives feigning familiarity in every situation in which they find themselves facing a gap in their own knowledge, so as to not have to admit there is something they don’t know. As a result, they keep on not knowing stuff.
But I...
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Dear Hollywood:
I think now is as good a time as ever to greenlight a Hipster Aquaman picture, don’t you agree?
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I am terrible at saying "No."
Instead, I say, “Oh, you’d like me to do something for you, outside of my normal skill set, immediately, and for free, regardless of the Real Paying Work I have to do? Sure. I’ll get right on it.”
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Actual Thing I Have Already Said This Morning™
“You’d be surprised how much myrrh can fit inside a donkey.”
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I'm going to share my secret recipe with you.
Cold Confiture de Lait Risotto Soup
Put 1 cup Rice Krispies cereal into a bowl
Add 1/2 cup milk
Let sit for five hours on your countertop
Bon appetit!