I just wanted you to know that I think you are handsome and sexy and funny and quirky and I have the HUGEST crush on you. I think about you all the time. I'm just too shy to tell you. Have a great day.
Is this Emma Thompson? It is, isn’t it? It’s ok - I know you’re super-famous and can’t reveal yourself. So I’m just gonna print this and cross out “Anonymous” and write “Emma Thompson” and hang it on my fridge.
I opened my fridge just now to discover that I am out of Diet Pepsi. I literally did one of those cinematic dropping-to-your-knees and wailing “NOOOOOOO!” into the sky.
The only thing keeping me from relocating to Los Angeles is their lack of Wegmans.
Pro tip: Goldfish are not machine-washable; they are dry clean only. Tropical fish, however, can be hand-washed in a sink full of salt water and a mild detergent. Scrub them lightly with a soft cloth. Do not use an abrasive brush, because obviously.
I mentioned Neville Chamberlain in an email yesterday, and my friend thought I was talking about a character from Harry Potter. And this person has a PhD from Yale.
I’m noodling with an idea on how (and whether) to offer some “commissioned fiction”, in the form of short stories and/or microfiction, printed and bound into one-of-a-kind chapbooks. Have to give it some more thought, though.